Self Hatred and Scandal in Colorado

What a sad, sad world we live in...

From CNN, a quick overview of the Haggard scandal:

• Top evangelical leader has admitted "some guilt," a church leader says
• The Rev. Ted Haggard earlier denied Colorado man's claim pastor paid for sex
• Haggard quits national leadership post, steps aside from pulpit
• Accuser cites Haggard's support for same-sex marriage ban as motivation

All joking aside (and this one is just begging for a one liner or ten), what I can't escape is the amount of self-hatred all of these closeted Republicans must be carrying. It's unlike anything I've ever seen. Of course I wasn't alive for the civil rights and womens' movements, but somehow, I can't imagine that it was quite like this. (Someone tell me if it was otherwise... that ethnic minorities and women were fighting against their own rights in so many places).

As you might suspect, I take no issue with Haggard's sexuality. However, the semi-satanic role he has played in hate mongering across his state and indeed, across the country as an "evangelical leader" is another story... one that makes this revelation all the more complex and disheartening.

On Election Day 2004, I had a party. For amusement, at some point, as the grim truth of what was happening took over the forward thinking crowd, someone changed the channel to Cable Access. There, we found a local program called Gay Republicans. At the time, it seemed like comic relief (particularly considering that 11 states shot down gay marriage that very night). But now, it's become clear that gay republicans are no laughing matter, least of all to themselves.

If I were of the same breed as the right wing hate machine, I'd pounce right now (after all, how does Haggard define “some guilt?”). But more than anything, I find this unfortunate. A culture of hate never leads anywhere positive; this much is true.

But pity the messenger when they, themselves, are the objects of their own malaise.

Oh, Ted Haggard… isn’t karma a bitch?